alright i have an idea i hope that you like it go to this link and download the mod after that do every thing it says
http://www.boonex.com/m/Redirect_to_any_page_after_logon_
now what we are going to do is redirect the user after login to a redirect page that will redirect him to the member.php page of his but after 18 sec. or what ever
so :
1- install the mod
2- make a new html file and post the following in the head tag of the page and if you dont have a head tag just put this under the <title> tag
<meta HTTP-EQUIV="REFRESH" content="0; url=PASTE THE LINK TO THE MEMBER.PHP FILE">
content="0; ==>change it to number of seconds you want and dont forget to put the music to play in the background ..
3- make the mod redirect the user to this page and then he will have to wait 18 sec to be redirected i guess the same applies for the logout in here but you need to modify the mod or ask some one to do it (sorry im lazy and gotta sleep )
i don't think you can do what your asking for in any other way because the loading time for the page differs from one person to another but i think that if any body knows ajax he could help you with that in a more professional way
if i did help you .. it wont hurt to go to my profile and add a recommendation for me ;)